I am not sure if I should cut out some sections in my paper.
In my paper I spend about two paragraphs talking about how golf courses are starting to use GPS devices and I argue how it is detrimental to the game. I am not sure if I even need these paragraphs. Should I just cut these two paragraphs and spend more time talking about technology in clubs and how that affects golfers ability and the way they use the technology to the detriment of their game?
Ellis,
probably cut, unless you can tie the gps stuff strongly to one of your points.
paul
Yeah I agree I think if you focused on some of your more interesting facts that it may liven up you argument some. I think readers would be more interested in the technology and I feel that it would also strengthen your argument.